The Taming of the Tights by Louise Rennison

Author:Louise Rennison [Rennison, Louise]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2013-09-22T05:00:00+00:00

See you there, cheeky miss

ON MONDAY I ARRIVED at Dother Hall desperate to go to the loo. Dibdobs gave me some of her special foraging tea that’s made out of dried dandelions and squirrel poo or something. I haven’t been able to stop going to the loo since. And my pee is green. But thankfully not full of acorns.

I can see why Mr. Barraclough calls it Dither Hall. I couldn’t get into the loos for girls putting on lipstick and hitching their skirts up this morning.

What was going on?

Milly said, “Exciting, isn’t it, about The Jones coming?”

How did she know?

I said, “They’re not.”

Milly said, “Oh yes, they are. Flossie said.”

It wasn’t just in the loos, it was all around the school that The Jones were coming. When I met up with the Tree Sisters in the café, I said to Flossie, “Everyone I asked said you and Jo had told them about The Jones.”

Flossie said, “Oh yeah.”

Vaisey said to Jo, “But it was a secret. . . . Jack might get into trouble . . . because Hoppy said . . .”

Jo said to Vaisey, “Hoppy smoppy!!! You don’t understand what it’s like to not see boys for ages and ages. I haven’t seen Phil; I’m like a nun. I’ve got excess boy energy to work off. I’ve had to listen to Bob tell me about his new drum solos for a week, in between unbunging drains and . . . Come on . . . if you’re so upset about Flossie and me telling people, let’s fight!! I’ll take you all on.”

And she pushed Vaisey over and then leapt on my back and started giddying me up like a donkey.

As we all went into assembly, Jo was still on my back. I started my casually disinterested plan. I said to Flossie, “Honestly, don’t you think it’s pathetic? It’s just, just the Hinchcliffs and Jack when it comes down to it. Just you know, just a bunch of boys, playing songs and moaning about life. They’ll probably fall out by about half past two and break Bob’s sound equipment.”

Vaisey squeezed my hand and gave me a secret look.

And Flossie said, “I completely understand, Miss Lullah. But ditch the small mad person on your back and get your lip gloss out! I’ve run out and that Seth boy is in for a meeting he won’t never forget!”

I shoved Jo off and whispered to Vaisey, “I don’t—I can’t—I don’t want to see him.”

Vaisey squeezed my hand again. “Look, we can hide at the back and creep off. . . .”

After second period, I was walking along to the art studios and passed a mass of girls screeching outside the front door. Flossie came out of the loos again; how much lip gloss can one person apply? She grabbed my hand and dragged me along with her. I said, “Flossie, what are you doing? I don’t want to . . .”

She dragged me to the front of the crowd just as Seth appeared through the front doors with his guitar over his shoulder.

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